Take that, Central Perk.

I decided the other day that if I retire with a considerable amount of money, I'd like to open a coffee house. It would be a house, of course--not a "place" or a "shop" or even a "shoppe". I'd find an old building and renovate it and just have my own coffee house. We'd serve good stuff like tea and chai (real Oregon chai--not chai-flavored syrup) and we'd have creative house blends and jet tea and milkshakes and biscotti and muffins and sandwiches and wraps and cheesecake.

I would host artists every weekend and I'd have an open mic during the week. I wouldn't limit the entertainment to music. I'd welcome poetry, comedy, studio art, photography, sculpture, interprative dance, whatever. I would host a monthly poetry slam and maybe an annual drama festival sort of thing where actors could read or act selections from plays.

I would have a bar at the counter, tables spread throughout and a few couches in the back next to big bookshelves. I would collect book donations the shelves and even do a little bartering. Like if you bring five used books for the shelves you get a free cup of coffee. Or if you see a book on the shelves that you like you can trade one of your own for it.

I'd patronize Caruso's coffee, of course (nepotism works when the product is good!) but I would rename the blends after famous writers.

The Ferlinghetti Blend (Cappuccino)
The Hemingway Blend (Cinnamon Hazlenut- decaf)
The Bard's Blend (English toffee--or the Othello Blend which would be a combination of dark and white chocolate syrup)
The Kerouac Blend (Frangelico- nutty and poignant with a staying taste)
Dickinson's Homebody Blend (Not sure about this one but it would definitely be decaf)
Tennessee's Tin Roof Blend (Just like it sounds- tin roof, yo!)
The Neruda Blend (Chilean coffee con leche)
Heart of Darkness (Obviously Ethiopian, Kenyan, or Sumatran)

I'd be psyched to sell new blends every day because I could include new authors. I would ask the customer to give the name of or quote one of the day's author's works and if they could I'd give them 10% off their next purchase.

Oh I have to go. More later.